I officiated a wedding Saturday night. The bride, groom, and congregation were not my usual "church" crowd. Given my personal experience with marriage, divorce, and the subsequent pain; as a pastor, I take very seriously the marriage covenant and my participation in it. I swore to myself when I became a pastor I would never marry someone if I doubted their commitment to each other, and even more importantly, their commitment to God.
In my pre-marriage visits with the couple I pointed them to Jesus...but I found myself doubting whether or not I should be performing this ceremony. We had a Christian service, and throughout I pointed all who would listen to Jesus. Afterwards, considering some of the things I heard and witnessed at the reception, I still had some concerns. (Things like a life size,blow up sex doll strapped to the front of the couples exit vehicle and the suspicion of alcohol somewhere in our midst.) I left there asking myself - or God- "What have I done?" I was seriously re-thinking future weddings.
And then they stiffed me! No one offered to pay me! Now, I have to say that several weeks prior to the wedding the mother of the groom had asked, "How much?" My reply: "There is no charge for my services. If you choose to bless me with a gift it will be greatly appreciated but, I have no fee." I tell them all that and I do feel that the wedding and all of the effort leading up to the wedding is a pastoral duty. But they always pay anyway!
I left there with questions, feeling bad about the way I felt, and asking God's forgiveness for the way I was feeling.
The text for Sunday worship was Romans 8:26-39. The focus of the message was verse 28, which says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I talked about difficult times, painful times, and how it is hard to see God in the midst of those times. But God is at work in all times and one of the ways he is working is through his church, those called according to his purpose.
After worship a lady in my congregation came and put something in my shirt pocket and said, "I have to do this; it's not much, but I have to do it." Without looking, I knew that it was $100 and I knew that God was speaking to me. We don't know how God works, but God works. God called me to this. God called me to pastor the people and tell them about Jesus, even those - especially those - who never hear about him.
I felt God telling me, "If you refuse to marry them, who will end up doing it? If you turn them away and don't tell them about Jesus, who will tell them? You won't always like what you see but you are called according to my purpose"...and then God paid me.
One of those moments... that I recognized God.
1 comment:
Bless you for your faithfulness to your calling! I heard once that courage was not the absence of fear, but doing what needs to be done in the face of fear. I think our calling is a lot like that. It isn't that we are always certain or always feel happy about what we have done, but it is faithfully following God's call on our life in good times and bad, through our failings and God's grace.
Again, bless you in your ministry.
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